Gay, Single and Loving It!


We live in a society that places high value and expectation on being in a coupled relationship and singles are often stigmatized for their single-status. Gay men, in particular, are often labeled as being unable to develop and maintain long-lasting intimate relationships, adding yet another layer to this stigma.

This can lead to feelings of low self-worth and inferiority, a sense that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have a boyfriend, an excessive focus and preoccupation with your discontent with being single, and sometimes a compulsive drive to find a relationship just to satisfy that nagging need (which can be a dangerous and sabotaging maneuver if one’s dating practices are conducted out of desperation rather than conscious intention). Continue reading

Why “some” gay men can’t stick with one partner

Many times, gay men are described as being very promiscuous…… sex loving people who simply cannot have enough. They live to be desired by many and consequently jump from one partner to the next, some having 2 or 3 partners at the same time. In this episode Robin, Fabian and Saturn looks at this phenomenon sharing their thoughts on why some gay men can’t seem to be able to stick with one partner. Listen as they share their thoughts in this “no holds barred” podcast.


Ending HIV-Related Stigma and Discrimination

HIV for many some gay men in Jamaica is considered a death sentence, a curse that only affects men with whore-like tendencies and promiscuous ways. It is a subject very rarely discussed and consequently many gay men who are infected with the virus suffer in isolation, as it is difficult for them to find people who are willing to listen to their situation in a non-judgmental and un-biased way. The subject is so “taboo” that gay men don’t (some won’t) even have conversations with their partners about HIV until after the relationship has ended and they’ve had time to reflect on the risky activities they’ve participated in.

Real Flexx has therefore sought to begin the HIV conversation  for World AIDS Day, by doing a podcast on HIV-related stigma and discrimination in the gay community and what we can do moving forward to eradicate the negative stigma associated with (the word) HIV and people living with HIV and AIDS. Please ensure that you respond by leaving your comments and sharing this podcast with your friends, peers and/or associates. See said podcast below…. your welcome!

Updates/ Changes

So we’ve made some changes to the look of our Blog to make it cleaner and easier to look at (even though it always looked great in my eyes). In keeping with the changes, we will be making more frequent updates and posting a whole bunch of Pod-casts, so stay tuned to us for further updates. Also, ensure that you like our Facebook fan-page and subscribe to the blog (to keep yourself in the loop), just look to the right of the page and you should see everything you need. Please focus on the distraction that we’ve included below, while we work in the background to give you the content you need. HAVE A GREAT ONE!


5 Sexy Ways to Put on a Condom


We get it, condoms aren’t so sexy. But you know what’s really hot? Safer sex. Condoms are a necessity, so guess what? you’ll have to use them at some point or another. And now that research has proven that sex is just as enjoyable with condoms, you have no excuse not to use them. So for the sake of making safe sex a little more enticing, we’re sharing these tips for you to put to good use. Putting on a condom doesn’t have to be an interruption to the fun; in fact, if you use these tips it will be just another part of the sexy foreplay. Continue reading

Dwayne Jones: Homophobia and Lessons Learnt

CJ and Robin finally decided to chime in on the controversial killing of Dwayne Jones in St. James, Jamaica. They looked at the state of homophobia in Jamaica and shared what they thought could be learnt from this VERY violent incident. Listen to the podcast (included below) and let us know what you think by commenting and joining in on the conversation.

Fear of Commitment


Ever read advice columns? I don’t think they could exist without letters from women dating guys who can’t commit. It’s almost a cliché: “Joe and I have been dating for 7 years now, and he still hasn’t asked me to marry him. What’s wrong?”  Gay men might phrase it a little differently, since marriage isn’t in the picture for now: “We’ve been going together for 4 years, but we still aren’t living together.” Or “We started off great! But I still haven’t met his family or co-workers. I don’t feel important to him.” Gay men are probably no different from other men in their level of comfort around intimacy. It’s quick and easy for some of us, while for others it seems to happen at the pace of a glacier moving south. Continue reading


Why Gay men don’t want to get tested


So I was a part of a study that was carried out in Jamaica in two (2) sites (Kingston and St. Andrew and Montego Bay). The aim of the study was to identify why some gay men did not want to go to the different testing spaces available to them, to access counselling and testing for HIV. We originally thought that stigma and discrimination was a key barrier that made it difficult for gay men to even want to get tested, but guess what?! We were wrong. Gay men……. or women (whichever you feel comfortable with being called) are afraid…… afraid of the testing process, afraid that they might hear that they’re HIV positive and afraid of the needles. It also turned out that the individuals who were afraid of getting tested, would have gone to get tested had their friends (whose opinions are considered VALUABLE) influenced them more and supported them in the testing process. Continue reading

JFLAG “We are Jamaicans” Campaign


You’d have to be living under a rock and not care about the Jamaican gay community if you didn’t at any point in time see this ad campaign done by JFLAG. It has been circulating for sometime on social media sites and being the lovers we are of these ads we have decided to share them with you. The Round Table Talk discussion that was done by our three member team Robin, Saturn and CJ covered most of what I should be including here and I don’t like being repetitive. The advertisements and the podcast are included in the jump. Continue reading

Tips for Having Phone Sex

Phone sex

Masturbation while talking to someone on the phone is known as phone sex. Many of us get their first taste of it when at a distance from a partner. Or having a conversation that takes an erotic twist. Phone sex is an awesome form of ‘safer’ sex, as there is no physical risk at all, except for what you do to yourself. It’s best with a known partner. Some people find phone sex easier than actual sex. One reason for this might be that, for folks who are a little sensitive or self conscious, it allows them to avoid embarrassment. Others like the fantasy or Role Playing aspect, where they can imagine the erotic details themselves and set up the perfect sexual fantasy. No matter what the reason, there is much you can do when your partner is unseen. Continue reading

Lube It Up

Lube Magazine

Whoever you’re having sex with, lube makes everything easier and you both have a lot more fun. More importantly, it helps keep the condom in one piece, and keeps you safe, but you have to make sure you use the right kind of lube – water based or silicon based are the only kinds to use to get you slip-sliding away. Continue reading

Interview with Franklin about HIV


Franklin is a 22 year old hard working young man, who has been HIV positive for  approximately 3 years. Everything about him exudes positivity and he often says “I’m too busy looking toward the future to be sad.” After a few months of self loathing and blaming himself for contracting HIV, he realized that it really wasn’t worth it as he simply wasn’t getting sick no matter how soon he thought he would’ve died. He then thought it was just necessary for him to move on, conquer life and be what he thought he could never have been, An inspiration to other HIV positive gay men. He is now in the process of starting his certificate course in events management and see’s himself as a leader who is now ready to share his experiences with the world. Continue reading for the interview that we had with this brave and inspirational young man.
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Gay Relationships: More Than Friends


It’s not unusual for someone to say of his lover, “He’s my best friend.”  That’s a sweet thing.  Of course, it’s also great to have a best friend who is not part of your relationship, especially at times when the relationship feels a little strained and we need some place to let off steam.    Continue reading

10 Best Condom Advertisements

As a lover of advertisements and an advocate for safer sex, I decided to meld my love for the two together by showcasing the 10 condom print advertisements that I’ve seen and have fallen in love with. All are witty, some are hilarious and others are just plain crazy. If you find one that you like, share it with us in the comment box provided and feel free to subscribe to our blog for future updates.

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10 Interesting Condom Facts

Here’s a list of 10 interesting facts about condoms that you might not know.

1. On average, condoms hold about 4 quarts of liquid. That’s about 16 cups or 1 gallon of liquid or 3.8 litres. That’s larger than most Milk Bottles!

2. Most modern-day condoms (over 90%) are made of latex, the rest from polyurethane or lamb intestines.

3. Ancient Egyptians reportedly used condoms as early as 1350 BC. These were reportedly made from animal bladders or intestines.

4. Over the years, a variety of materials have been used as Condoms. Among the materials were linen, sheep, lamb and goat intestines; fish skin, silk and thin leather.

5. Only Latex Condoms can stop the transmission of HIV. Tests have shown that Polyurethane and lamb condoms do not stop the transmission of the virus.

6. Oils and most lotions will cause latex to breakdown. As such, only use water or silicone based lubricants when using latex condoms.

Continue reading